Dan Taylor faced a precarious situation after his father suffered from a stroke at age 72 and couldn’t live alone. Dan was responsible for looking after him and had no idea how to proceed. He was overwhelmed by the plethora of options and was determined to find a place where his father “would be treated with dignity and respect.”
His experience inspired him to write The Parent Care Conversation, a book that helps parents and their children converse meaningfully about long-term care issues they may face in the future. It includes strategies for handling six key challenges one must confront when dealing with aging parents: money, property, house, professional care, legacy, and the “Big Picture.”
Taylor notes the house conversation can be extremely emotional. The objective is to get a fix on how your parents feel about their ability to keep living where they are now. For example, is their home already a physical or financial burden? Do they see it becoming one?
If so, what is the preferred next step? Staying, but with help, or selling and moving? And, if the latter, to where: a smaller home, retirement community, or perhaps an assisted-living facility?
The property conversation, which deals with personal possessions, also poses interesting choices and boils down to these three: Make a will or create a trust for disposing of the property after they’re gone; start giving it away now; or do nothing.
Most people resort to the third choice. “As parents, doing something — whether it is choice one or two or a combination of both — is tough physically, mentally, and emotionally. The default option of doing nothing is the easier route for everybody, at least in the short run. But, in the long run, it is the hardest and most painful for all concerned,” says Taylor.
“However extreme or overboard some of their concerns and anxieties may seem to you, don’t minimize or dismiss them. To your parents, these worries are substantial and very real. Your role is to help them transform these challenges into a set of realistic possibilities for achieving a positive experience,” he adds.
This is a book about how to make plans with some of the most important people in your life – your parents. It’s about having the important conversation.
- Brandt Butt, Investment Advisor, CIM®
Brandt Butt is an Investment Advisor at Endeavour Wealth Management with Industrial Alliance Securities Inc, an award-winning office as recognized by the Carson Group. Together with his partners he provides comprehensive wealth management planning for business owners, professionals and individual families.
This information has been prepared by Brandt Butt who is an Investment Advisor for Industrial Alliance Securities Inc. (iA Securities) and does not necessarily reflect the opinion of iA Securities. The information contained in this newsletter comes from sources we believe reliable, but we cannot guarantee its accuracy or reliability. The opinions expressed are based on an analysis and interpretation dating from the date of publication and are subject to change without notice. Furthermore, they do not constitute an offer or solicitation to buy or sell any of the securities mentioned. The information contained herein may not apply to all types of investors. The Investment Advisor can open accounts only in the provinces in which they are registered.